You know what hurts? When you always try to be there for people regardless of what you're doing and what time it is, but they won't be there to help you when you need them.

Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Summer Finale!

Oh my goodness! Tonight's the summer finale. I'm more than ecstatic right now. Finals are coming soon though so I'll have to restrain myself from watching it. Patience is virtue. Aaaaaaaaaaaa! I hope I'll not read any or get told the spoilers soon! Please!

Knight of My Heart - A Short Story

Every girl dreams of a fairytale. Of which in it, true love lives forever and after. No dead roses nor a kiss needed to wake up from a deep sleep. That one day, their knight in shining armour would rescue them up out that trapped tower floating beneath the fluffy clouds. But what magic from paradise could curse a love that in the first place started with a story of hatred against each other? Well, it happened to me. Believe it or not, read and weep if you might.

It was some time in late October, the sun was shining perilously and mirrored rays of iluminous light passed through the windows. I was walking towards the entrance of a 7-Eleven store and out of the blue felt my heart beating fast, as if it was a reminder that something terrible was about to happen. Pushing the thought aside, I went up to the receptionist and ask for the things I needed. Just as I was handling the dollars, A shot rang in the air as glasses shattered everywhere. Everything was all in slow motion through my eyes. It felt as if all the air in the universe had been sucked into the black hole. Then, a voice suddenly shouted.

"Everyone down in the count of 3!" The man had a gun in his right hand and out of the corner of my eyes, I could see his finger slowly triggering the weapon. He laughed. I closed my eyes ever so tightly. It was never supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to die this way. When no shots could be heard, I slowly opened my eyes though the thought of getting killed in this place at that tense moment crossed my mind like a lighting. I saw three guys dressed in black hoodies.

Suddenly, I realized that something sharp was almost slicing my neck and my breath got hitched in the throat. "You," I paused to take a breath, my life maybe be ending in a matter of seconds.

"Please... Don't do anything to me! I beg you,"

My heart yearned. Shadows of the ones I love crossed my mind. I heard another laugh. And something inside told me that I've heard this voice somewhere.

"Happy Birthday!!!" a voice suddenly screamed. He unmasked himself and I was caught in the moment. Locked eye to eye, with the guy I've sworn I'd hate for the rest of my life.

I'm Clueless

I'm the type of person who really appreciates friendships. I value them so much but we all know that a friendship isn't a one way street. Sometimes I wonder if they feel the same way of what I feel. That's why it hurts when a friend of yours suddenly became a stranger. You don't know them anymore. It's like they've forgotten about you. You text them and they purposely don't reply. Of course at times you can't reply every single message right away. Time limits and betrayals or because you're in the middle of something or you're just not in the mood to be talking at that particular moment. What goes around comes around. Anyhow, you can always know when they purposely don't want to reply you back. Then you feel like you shouldn't have sent those texts. I hate those feelings. They cause an unspeakable pain that sparks your heart on sorrow because you're making an effort yet it was unnoticed and ignored. And that my dear, hurts a lot... Then again, no one's perfect in this universe, sometimes you just have to stop trying. You have to move on and open your eyes. Sometimes nothing will ever be the way it used to be anymore.

I'm not okay. And one day, I will stop trying. Cause I'm imperfect too and because I realized that time really does betray. But when I've stopped trying, you're gonna have to realize what you've lost. At least I tried.

Career Crisis: Is Blame Game Required?

In the search of their identity, children often find themselves caught up in oblivion when trying to decide the type of career they wish to pursue in the future. Today's fast paced world has shown dramatic and rapid development of technology in just a blink of an eye. Just as quick as a lightning. Everything gets served right in front our eyes in the most interactive and astonishing ways! What more could we ask?! Everything is being done in ways we could have never imagined.

Now getting back to the topic of this controversial issue. When they finally reach the teenage years, with the help of school and the education they received, including their ever so intriguing conscience as they mature in many ways, somehow their confidence grow fervent as they realise of what profession they envisage themselves getting into. Unfortunately, the scenarios we see nowadays, some parents seem to be getting along the way of their child's choice of career in the end resulting into their own disappointment more over the child who was literally forced to follow their parent's dream. Isn't it ironic? It's not what they want to do but what their parents want. Either way, this issue has both its positive and negative effects that needed to be taken into account.

If say an analogy is to be used, try to imagine a person who is a true Da Vinci in arts and aspires to be a painter, or maybe even an architect to assume, is forced to spend a lifetime in a hospital with the smell of anaesthetics swirling before him every single day, tending to patients most of the time, cutting the human anatomy in ways only those in the medical field would definitely understand. He became a doctor because he was forced to go into the profession. Not because that was what he knows he wanted to spend his life doing. He may be good at it but much to his dismay why can't he find any glee in doing it? Why? Well, maybe because his compassion is not perpendicular to what he is currently doing.

To me, this portrays that should a person pursues a career, he should throw himself into a profession that not only fits his abilities and talents but the job itself illustrates his compassion. Why do you think this premise stands out? Put aside the dollars he would be generating should he takes up a particular type of career. The question is why do you think compassion is needed as a fuel that would drive your burning desires to succeed in everything you do? Why? Because we can only be happy in whatever we do if we do it by heart and willingness that shouldn't be questioned by one. That seems to be the most auspicious thing from my point of view.

The road a person chooses to embrace should always lead him to success and effulgence in his job. Rekindle your spirit each time you feel down, no dreams can't be made into a reality, not when the owner of that heart dares to cross the boundaries it takes to make it come true, not when the owner of the heart does not give up each time a failure tried to push him off the ground, not when the owner of the heart knows that each breath he takes and for every time the heart beats, it's for the One who controls it and make those endless dreams seem possible even in the bleakest of time...

Always have faith in everything you do. Always have faith in The Creator and everything shall fall into place, with His will.

Stealing Your Heart - A Story

" Caramel Macchiato without cream ready," a guy in an emerald green apron came up the take away counter as swift as he could, his face plastered in very much radiance and the name on the tag were shining as the rays of the streaming sunlight were reflected on the silver engravings that seemed corporately decent.

The young man in an electric blue shades got up from the chair to collect his favourite coffee. He was dressed in a white Polo shirt and a plain black jeans and as he walked pass by the other customers in that spacious and luxurious cafe, one might assume that he is just an ordinary guy at one glance. Or maybe that he is bumptious judging by the fact that he would never even look at all the girls who couldn't hide their fervent towards him. Well, which girl wouldn't? He is Keegan McFreic. The reason why all the young ladies in the town sleep in with glee at 11:11, dreaming about him and his charms, his dark brown hair that seems to dance following the rhythm of the wind, and that perfect crooked smile that would seldom be seen. Yes. You never get to see Keegan McFreic's smile all the time. Unless you were the reason he was smiling and you had the magic to do that, absolutely, you have all the reasons to have your heart stopped beating and happily get yourself into a coma. Otherwise, you better be ready to jump into the lavas and have your oh-so-tragic death as the main headline of tomorrow's newspaper. If you dare to be the reason of the most trusted newspaper's dramatic escalation in revenue, you are very much welcome. If you dare to try and make him smile back at your attempts of getting his attention, well, you should know that you are getting yourself a complete biography published to be put  in the Keegan McFreic Wicked Library. If you wish, by all means.

The ironic thing somehow, was the fact that despite all those expressionless face he wore in public, their assumptions of his whimsical yet unreadable personality, they never saw what was actually behind the tainted windows of the metallic black limousine that ignites at any of his commands. They never get to see it. In all the times they got trapped in, they never know that he has been smiling all this while. Keegan McFreic smiles for the first time in history. Alert the media people, you don't want to be missing this million dollar opportunity.

To Be Continued, Stay Tuned!

Khairina K

Trapped In A Lost Time

Have you ever felt like all of a sudden you're not at the place you thought you should be at? Well, it shouldn't be that bizarre after all. Life is unpredictable. It's a roller coaster that would take you for a ride in the highest sky and the lowest ground. All you have to do is follow the flow with a positive mindset and everything shall turn into an unexpected beautiful disaster :)!

50 Shades Of Ian!

Well, I didn't really know anything about the 50 Shades Trilogy. That was until I saw a few tweets about this so called phenomena though. So I became curious. If this was a phenomena then I'd have to check it out. Haha. One day I went to a local book store and saw the copies being put on the best sellers rack. So I took one and quickly checked out the summary. As soon as I've finished reading the first man I imagined what Christian Grey looks like is Ian Somerhalder! I mean come on! It's gotta be Ian! He's perfect for the role!

The second I found out that he will play Christian Grey a few days ago, I was so ecstatic! I told youuuuuuuuuuu! I knew it!!! I seriously can't wait man goshhh..

P/S: Good luck Ian =)!

;) Totally Vampires

Numb - A Short Story

I walked down the pavement that was covered with countless snowflakes. The sky was electric blue, and I silently wonder if it will ever rain today, silently inside, I'm wishing for a rainbow that hadn't been there for years now. Suddenly I felt my head hurting again. I had no idea how I ended up sleeping by the roadside. I can't remember. I pushed the thought aside and think about him. It was too swift that my mind was trying to register what just happened but failed. This had to be a dream. Perhaps I've been too distracted by the fantasies that I'm dreaming wide awake in the realms of reality. It couldn't be. I can't believe what I just saw. I stopped abruptly and let it all sink in.

The arctic October wind engulfed me in a way like a hurricane would swipe away a town in a blink of an eye, there was no warning. I saw him today. After all these years. There he stood, with that crooked smile that I've loved so much. His handsome features made me stop breathing for a moment as I stood in amazement of how much the first boy I've ever loved so much had grown up to be a dashing young man. His light brown eyes were glittering with happiness, and as fast as the penetrating gaze trapped me in a lost time, I drowned in them just as quick yet trying hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall as every second passes by. I wanted to run into him and be in his secure arms. I wanted to tell him how much I've missed him. I wanted to tell him the words that I didn't get to say before he left. I wanted to but I couldn't. 

There's a part of me that talked me down. He wouldn't feel the same way I feel about him. Not even a guarantee there is that he even remembers me. I stopped walking and sat on the bench nearby. I cried and let the tears rush down my cheeks. No. I'm not gonna keep holding back. I can't, not anymore. There was so much that I could take. My heart ached and ached. Crying a lost melody never to be understood by one. When suddenly I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. My heart shuddered. As I put my hands down and off my face, I was locked eye to eye with the only guy which has his name carved in my heart. At least for the moment. His smile was so perfect. The way his hair dances according to the rhythm of the wind made him look more handsome. I was loss at words. With tears still rolling down my face, he cupped my face in his hands,' I'm really sorry.' He then smiled and took an emerald diary out of his bag and gave it to me.

Dear Diary,

I saw her today. I still can't believe it. After all these years. She'd only changed so much. Her beauty took my breath away.

I was blanched in cluelessness. Seeing me like that, he smiled and took a torn out page out of the back of the diary.

Dear Diary,

Today would be the very last day of school for me. If only I was brave enough to tell her that I love her. But I know, I know that one day I'd be brave enough to tell her that. I know I will. Time will prove.

I was still clueless. Analysing the writing on the pages adequately, only then I shivered as my heart wrenched. I looked up and searched his face.

'I don't understand,'

His face was unreadable. And he took something out of his trench coat.

At that very moment, I felt my vision getting blurry and hot tears once again clouded my sight.

A letter drenched in blood. I couldn't breathe.

"Even if telling her that I love her means that my life would be taken away, I wouldn't mind."

Heartbroken

So today I failed my driving test. Ohh myy.That feeling!

I'm heartbroken yes I'm heartbroken.

TVD4 EP19 PROMO

Down by Jason Walker

Learned about this song from The Vampire Diaries. Beautiful.

Standing In The Dark

" You left me clueless in the middle of the pouring rain. Too broken to move on, I stood there lost as you walked away. I looked up the sky and silently hoped that I'll die. A part of yourself is in me. A part of me will always be in you."

A song fiction I wrote inspired by Lawson's 'Standing In The Dark'.

Coming soon in 2 weeks time.

Sitting here wide awake
Thinking about when I last saw you
I know you’re not far away
I close my eyes and I still see you
Lying here next to me
Wearing nothing but a smile

Gotta leave right away
Counting cracks along the pavement
To see you face to face
Thinking about the conversation
I know I’m not one to change
I’ve never wanted nothing more
But as I walk up to your door

I'm standing in the dark
She’s dancing on the table
I’m looking through the glass
She’s someone else’s angel
It may sound stupid that I'm wanting you back
But I'm wanting you back, girl
And now I’m standing in the dark, dark, oh
Dark, dark

All I want to do is hide
But I can’t stop myself from staring
Wishing his hands were mine
I can’t stop myself from caring
And as he turns down the lights
I’m feeling paralysed
And as he looks into her eyes
Yeah, alright

I'm standing in the dark
She’s dancing on the table
I’m looking through the glass
She’s someone else’s angel
It may sound stupid that I'm wanting you back
But I'm wanting you back, girl
And now I’m standing in the dark, dark, oh
Dark, dark, oh
Dark, dark, oh
Dark, dark, ohh, oohh

I’m standing in the dark
I’m standing in the dark

I'm standing in the dark
She’s dancing on the table
I’m looking through the glass
She’s someone else’s angel
It may sound stupid that I'm wanting you back
But I'm wanting you back, girl
And now I’m standing in the dark, dark, oh
Dark, dark, oh
Dark, dark
She’s someone else’s angel
She’s someone else’s angel

"A moment of patience in a moment of anger prevents a thousand moment of regrets."

- Ali Ibn Abi Talib

Say It In A Breath

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

 "a factitious word alleged to mean 'a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust, causing inflammation in the lungs."

The longest word in a major dictionary with 45 letters in it. 

Even The Stars They Burn

On those countless nights Boom and I spent trying to write the poem for the graduation night in CR4, we'd listen to this song for inspiration. No idea why. We ended up singing the song for hours, lacking of words to be written as a silent melody in the form of enthusiasm specially for the batch.  

Invisible

Don't cry for someone who doesn't even know the value of your tears. Even if the tears are invisible.Because they're so hard to be wiped away.

The Unpredictable Four

SOME PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY CARE BUT THEY REALLY DON'T

SOME PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY DON'T CARE BUT THEY REALLY DO

SOME PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY CARE AND THEY REALLY DO CARE 

SOME PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY DON'T CARE AND THEY REALLY DON'T CARE

WHICH OF THE ABOVE ARE YOU?

Don't Stalk But Investigate ;)

Hello there my loyal stalkers!

 I'll be updating this blog more often now. It's been a while. Had to take my mind off stuffs. 

Life's a roller coaster ait?!

Keep on stalking! - KHAIRINA K

Happens For A Reason

If we have never thanked God for every smile... Then why should we blame him for every tear?

It still hurts. It's getting worse.

Written Invisibility

I once had a dream which taught me a truly beautiful lesson. Sometime in the last March. But I can't seem to remember what the plot was like but all that I can remember was that, the moment I opened my eyes to welcome the rays of sunlight streaming through the windows on a blissful Friday morning, was that I felt something strange, a feeling lingering on and on as if trying to present it's existance by tugging at my heartstrings. The dream had awaken me in the perspective of how we should look at all the happenstances by our heart. That we shouldn't be blinded by our ruthless selfish pride. That sometimes, not all that we really want in life, despite all the hard work that we've put into it is really the best for us. What I learned was that we often look at things that happen around us by our eyes but not the by the only thing that in reality seems to connect us to Him. The reason why we are still breathing. The reason why when there's not a voice at all that could be heard, we hear the beat of it as moments passed by, clearly. Not only we hear it, we feel it.

  Don't look at trials or circumstances by using your eyes. Sometimes, our eyes are blinded. By the magic of this world. Try looking at everything that happens by our heart. Don't judge by our eyes. Don't judge too soon and start the blame game. Instead, be wise by trying to look at the brighter side of the situation. Yes. 'Everything happens for a reason.' We have always heard of this undeniably universal line. No doubt that this is in fact true. Accept it with an open heart that we might never see the good outcomes or 'hikmah's of it, because that doesn't really matter. What matter is that how He sees it. 

Which then, of the favours of your Lord will you twain deny?

Ar-Rahman, Verse 13

Hmm, sometimes in life, you don't always get what you want. That's the ordinance of the universe. Everything that has happened, is happening and will happen has all been planned out by The Creator.You've dreamed of something yet it was deflected by the reality. Don't lose hope and keep your faith in Him stronger than before. And stronger and stronger day by day. Maybe the reason He didn't give you what you wanted was because He has something definitely better for you in store. It's just the matter of time.     

Vindicate ourselves from this sweet but dangerous cataclysm. Before it's too late because there is still time to change. Because there will come a karma that is inevitable by us humans. Something that is actually drawing closer and closer to us without we even realizing it. When there comes a time, that neither both can be used to see, not anymore. When neither the eyes can be opened nor the most pure silence couldn't even let us hear that very sound we used to take for granted and not be grateful for, while we still can. And deep inside, we all know what it is.

I don't know what's been said. But what can I do. What's there to say. We sometimes conclude without even trying to find out the truth. We believe when want to, we distrust when we want to. That's the worst part. We take faith for granted. We made it a switch. We turn it on, we turn it off. We're too stubborn to try and find a pain that was hidden in a smile. We're too egoistic to try and find a cry that was hidden in a laugh.You wouldn't want to regret because it will cause you a great amount of agony. Fine. Maybe it will only lasts for a while. But what if the regret lingers on forever? Are you ready to bear that very unspeakable pain? Truth. Don't judge too quickly. You never know what you will lose in the way. You never know what you might lose, forever. You never know...

The Sound Of Silence

Take a drinking glass and grip it really tight for moments, then, close your eyes, and let it go. What will you hear afterwards? Right. The sound of the shattered pieces of glass onto the floor, bit by bit. The moment you open your eyes, you'll find that the glass has been broken into millions of transparent pieces. With that, you finally conclude, glasses 'break'. When something falls down and break, it makes a noise.

The truth is, in this life, everything can break. Glasses. Contracts can break. A mirror. A record can be broken by one. Windows break. And so are promises. And the heart.

But as for heart, why is it when it breaks, it's completely silent? At times, we wish that when our heart breaks, it would make the loudest crashing sound, as if you want everyone in this world to know that you're in a great amount of pain... But we must always accept the reality, that when the heart breaks, it's silent...

There's a noise, but it's internal. Only you can hear it but no one. It screams in pain yet you're the only person who could hear it. It screams so loud. So loud that you ears ring and your head aches. It hurts a lot to the extend it bleeds. Yet no one sees the bleeding. And to cover our pain and agony from everyone, we decide to put on a smile, in the hope that it may be able conceal that very heartbreak, when deep inside, it's hurting badly...

And what hurts more than when the ones you love, break your heart...? 

Knife

Knife

" Sometimes, part of loving is learning to let go... "

His immense heartache over a true love that never dies..

Her greatest regret over a shattered dream that forever lives..

Slicing incessantly

like a knife.

A story I wrote in 2011. I've been wanting to publish this but wasn't sure if i should & never had the chance to. Looks like I'll be sharing this with all of you ;)

 Coming soon to your computer or handphone. Haha. Only for you guys.

Vervain Anyone?!

Oh noooooooooo, what happened to TVD4 yeah? I've yet to download.. *sigh*

New Family

I had the best 5 days of fun in my life last week. Thanx guys!

You guys are awesome! May the memories & friendships built last forever. Insya Allah :)    

Hello there readers or shall I say stalkers ;) I will be updating this blog soon. But I am pleased to inform all of you that I am more than happy if any of you would like to request anything to be put on this blog. Any interesting topics to be discussed? Well I would be honored to accept if you guys have any suggestions. Please leave comments if you would want to do so. Have a great day! 

A Note

I have not updated this blog for a few days now. But soon I will. Be sure to check it out ;)

Torn Between Two

If any of you are a fan of TVD; this may contain spoilers if you haven't watched the latest episodes.  

A few days ago, Khalif told me that she'd watched the 9th and 10th episode of Vampire Diaries 4. Not shocking enough; Elena wasn't really sired to Damon. Her love for him is undoubted. It was because even before she became a vampire, she already had feelings for him, only her love for Stefan was stronger. Now that she's became one, her feelings for him obviously was magnified. They broke up when Stefan found out that Elena fed from his brother as it truly pained him. Determined on finding the cure for Elena to become human again, he was even more agonized when he found out that Elena doesn't has any more feelings for him, in a game of truth or dare, of which Rebekkah had him, Caroline and Elena to play.

Seriously, this is going to be more complicated. Regardless, I still believe that in the end Stefan & Elena would be together again.

I Carry Your Heart by E.E Cummings

I carry your heart with me

(I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it

(Anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

                                           

I fear no fate

(For you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world 

(For beautiful you are my world, my true)

And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

And the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

I couldn't sleep last night and decided to watch a movie 'In Her Shoes' (by Cameron Diaz & Toni Collette). It's a great movie by the way :) This poem was featured in the film and used in a wedding scene near the end. I was so glad to have watched the movie and learned about this truly beautiful poem by Cummings. The words may seem simple yet if you really feel the poem it has a truly deep meaning of a profound love. I think this is the best love poem I've ever read & it's definitely my fav =)   


P/S: A Special Dedication To My Dearest Sisters Of Excalibur 0812. Love you guys till death. May this strong sisterhood lasts forever :)

No One Better

Dearest Sister; Death can be anytime & in case time betrays me, I feel like making a list of the things I might want you to know and maybe chances are you will never find these out but who knows if one day you're bored and decides to Google yourself  =,= So I'm gonna put your name here so you can read it if you ever will Google yourself. Putri Mahirah. There I put it. Lol XD

The things I'm missing nowadays;

• you screaming at me whenever I didn't fold the blanket in the morning
• the times when we used to burn down the house kitchen at 4am when we're hungry (you're not you when you're hungry XD)
• talking to you before sleeping
• fighting with you over the silliest reasons
• us watching TVD together 
• all of us hanging out with Mum and how she would walk so fast leaving us behind
• the mushroom soups,pastas & whatever you used to cook
• watching you talking to yourself in the mirror =,=
• sometimes listening to you speaking in British accent
• you calling to check up on me and if I wanted anything (hmm, but you still do nowadays.yeay!)
• again, I miss fighting with you O.O
• the 'Let's jog at the park in the morning!!' plan every night which was always a total failure
• ordering pizzas
• you getting mad at the sound of my cellphone alarms (well, they had to be annoying to wake me up duhhh!)
• watching movies late at night (though usually you ended up watching them alone)
• stealing your stuffs to brought to boarding school in case I miss you =( (hahaha I bet you never realized)
• & there's just so many more...

The Wishing Well

A married couple walks up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny.

His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well and drowns.

The guy says, "Wow, it really works."